Men are Unwilling to Change? Women are Unwilling to Change? Or is It Both?

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June 18, 2014 by Thought Controller

Master Directory

Men are Unwilling to Change?

Women are Unwilling to Change?

Or is It Both?

(Written June 18th, 2014)




”Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed”

–Albert Einstein


Relatively True, but not Universally True

While this belief may be widespread and relatively true, it is not universally true.

A family is split up after a divorce; Shutterstock ID 86606719; PO: The Huffington Post; Job: The Huffington Post; Client: The Huffington Post; Other: The Huffington PostI was married twice. And each time I hoped to see change of attitudes within the women to whom I was married. I was changing rapidly; they were not.

Although I loved each of them for who they were, when one partner’s beliefs and subsequent attitudes are “fixed,” and the other partner’s beliefs and attitudes are frequently changing…this  inevitably leads to conflict and, almost always, ends in divorce.

In a vast many partnerships, however, I believe that both men and women refuse to change, because change entails tremendous conscious effort between the mind and the brain.

The Sleeping State and Inevitability of Change…

The human animal brain is inherently lazy…change is inimical to the…sleeping state… the daily mechanical, go-through-the-motions state that characterizes so many…

Thus, it is only by embracing the spirit within and awakening to the concept that change is both inevitable and true, beautiful and good, wherein inherent potentials may begin to convert to actuals in the individual’s life experience…

A life of faith-trust in the divine presence dwelling within us entails forging your own unique path into the unknown territory; it is the life of many challenges, a more difficult life than not, and most certainly…not a life of ease

(2087.1) 196:0.1 JESUS enjoyed a sublime and wholehearted faith in God. He experienced the ordinary ups and downs of mortal existence, but he never religiously doubted the certainty of God’s watchcare and guidance. His faith was the outgrowth of the insight born of the activity of the divine presence, his indwelling Adjuster. His faith was neither traditional nor merely intellectual; it was wholly personal and purely spiritual.

–The Urantia Book, Paper 196 – The Faith of Jesus

Christianity, as an organized system of second-beliefs about Jesus of Nazareth, has almost entirely obscured the human Jesus. The human Jesus was a truly beautiful revelation of both the Paradise Father and the Creator Son’s personality and divinely loving attitude toward the mortal children of their evolutionary creation.

20.1t064.jesus1--300x300After reading the Life and Teachings of Jesus many times, I find it easy to fall in love with the “human Jesus,” as well our Local Universe Creator Son, who incarnated into the mortal mind and body of the human Jesus.

The normal “life path” of a mortal is to undergo rapid, but not destabilizing change through the normal “ups and downs” of challenging human experiences, especially those in learning to more effectively interact with, communicate and associate with our fellow human beings.

We do not live, however, on a normal evolutionary planet.

Is the Institution of Marriage in Jeopardy?

We live in a time where it appears that…anything goes…in human sexual associations and partnering. Is the institution of marriage in jeopardy?

(922.2) 83:0.2 Marriage has been many times in jeopardy, and the marriage mores have drawn heavily on both property and religion for support; but the real influence which forever safeguards marriage and the resultant family is the simple and innate biologic fact that men and women positively will not live without each other, be they the most primitive savages or the most cultured mortals.

–The Urantia Book, Paper 83 – The Marriage Institution

Conflict between the partnering of male and female is inevitable, because man and woman are two distinct variations of the same species. We often both think and react to the challenges of life, in very different ways.


There is another, but less understood fact that will continue to advance human civilization forward on into the future…

922.3) 83:0.3 It is because of the sex urge that selfish man is lured into making something better than an animal out of himself. The self-regarding and self-gratifying sex relationship entails the certain consequences of self-denial and insures the assumption of altruistic duties and numerous race-benefiting home responsibilities. Herein has sex been the unrecognized and unsuspected civilizer of the savage; for this same sex impulse automatically and unerringly compels man to think and eventually leads him to love.

–The Urantia Book, Paper 83 – The Marriage Institution

While marriage and family life should ever continue to be an important part of and continuing experiences in our lives, it is not the whole of human experience. On our world, Urantia, however, the sexual relationship and family are the ongoing ties that often keep the individual “boxed in,” inwardly and secretly fearful of moving beyond these experiences into the farther reaches of the unknown territory

(2087.3) 196:0.3 Jesus did not cling to faith in God as would a struggling soul at war with the universe and at death grips with a hostile and sinful world; he did not resort to faith merely as a consolation in the midst of difficulties or as a comfort in threatened despair; faith was not just an illusory compensation for the unpleasant realities and the sorrows of living. In the very face of all the natural difficulties and the temporal contradictions of mortal existence, he experienced the tranquillity of supreme and unquestioned trust in God and felt the tremendous thrill of living, by faith, in the very presence of the heavenly Father. And this triumphant faith was a living experience of actual spirit attainment. Jesus’ great contribution to the values of human experience was not that he revealed so many new ideas about the Father in heaven, but rather that he so magnificently and humanly demonstrated a new and higher type of living faith in God. Never on all the worlds of this universe, in the life of any one mortal, did God ever become such a living reality as in the human experience of Jesus of Nazareth.

–The Urantia Book, Paper 196 – The Faith of Jesus

Baptism of Jesus in the Jordan River

And, my friend, it is this living faith in God, which represents the greatest opportunity for potentials to convert into actuals—for the potentials of perfecting character to actualize as personality reality, in the life experience of the individual…to become…fully soul-conscious as a dual being, a quasi-spiritual mind-personality-spirit energy body, fully developed and ready to emerge out of the lower mortal pattern of mind-womb-physical body, the mother which gives birth to her new offspring…the morontial soul of ascending spirit potential…


Click to enlarge



(2087.5) 196:0.5 Theology may fix, formulate, define, and dogmatize faith, but in the human life of Jesus faith was personal, living, original, spontaneous, and purely spiritual. This faith was not reverence for tradition nor a mere intellectual belief which he held as a sacred creed, but rather a sublime experience and a profound conviction which securely held him. His faith was so real and all-encompassing that it absolutely swept away any spiritual doubts and effectively destroyed every conflicting desire. Nothing was able to tear him away from the spiritual anchorage of this fervent, sublime, and undaunted faith. Even in the face of apparent defeat or in the throes of disappointment and threatening despair, he calmly stood in the divine presence free from fear and fully conscious of spiritual invincibility. Jesus enjoyed the invigorating assurance of the possession of unflinching faith, and in each of life’s trying situations he unfailingly exhibited an unquestioning loyalty to the Father’s will. And this superb faith was undaunted even by the cruel and crushing threat of an ignominious death.

–The Urantia Book, Paper 196 – The Faith of Jesus


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